S and I

were discussing who is in the top 10. Watched a Lady Gaga video, he becomes wide eyed, tells me I should dress more like her. I oblige, bought myself a paid of new dark sunnies. Only too happy to please me!

What does a

Japanese ham sandwhich look like? Apparently this is what I need to be looking like when doing one of the postures at yoga. A forward bend where no light, no air enters and you should look like a "japanese ham sandwhich". Makes me crave a pesto chicken wrap.

Recyle

Sent S old mobile to Mazuma to get some cash, argos card with £75 spondoolies duly arrived today. Got my eye on a coffee machine. Problem is they type of coffee machine I need does not actually exist. Coffee machine needs to have a motion sensor on it to know i am approaching. Hot coffee needs to be ready within about 15 mins of being awake.

I dont get the normal type of awakenings that other adults do (sans kids), mine are usually boy jumping up and down on my bed declaring he is ready for the day. The machine also needs to know to make weaker coffee during the day. I have a max of two coffees or I am something akin to a wired mongoose.

Machine also needs to be self cleaning or dishwasher proof. This is not because I am lazy and I dont clean, its becuase when I clean the current coffee maker out in the evening, it makes me crave coffee.

15.75

grand sum I made from the nearly new sale some months back. Was informed by one of the mums that next sale is in June. I dont think I will be going. Somehow I see a lie instead.

Roundup

Went to see Mama for four days. Had a great time, really enjoyed just being an adult and not having much more responsibility that choosing what to have for dinner, and where the next lot of ice cream / pastries were coming from. Best bit was trying to squeeze a rolled up super king size matress into the saloon car I hired. I would love to get hold of the CCTV footage from the parking lot where we accomplished this minor feat.

Kids are good, they really missed me nice to have some proper cuddles when I got back. D and K came down with the twins. Very quickly realised I was out of "how to entertain a small baby" mode.

Bikram yoga force is still stroing with me. I can now do the whole class without feeling the need to collapse in a heap. I can even do a mean eagle. AM going to sign up for unlimited yoga. S cleared me for 3 classes a week. going to be fun fun fun.

Got a massive package through from Z for the kids. It would seem that she has bought half of Zara. C now has 2 leather jackets and a barbour jacket. Madam still wanting everything pink. We have what I think are long and meaningfull conversations about how lovely purple and red are. She looks deep into my eyes and says she loves pink. May have to give in on some pink items....

Musings on milestones. This year will mark 17 years with S and 30 years in this wonderful country.

thank you for your email

regarding my ant order. Before I go ahead and purchase the insurance for an extra £2, please can you clarify what exactly the ant insurance covers? For instance:

1. Are you expecting me to take the ant to a vet to find out what is wrong should they seem lifeless? I am not sure my local vet has an ant specialist?

2. You mention about needing insurance for hot or cold periods. Can you provide me with the temperature tolerances for the ants?

3. Do ants really get lost in the post? Cant you just emply an ant eater to track their pheromones or something?

Thanks in advance.

Anxious future ant farm owner (well, not actualy owner, more the caretaker).

Buy ants

Ok, boy got an ant farm for his bday as one of his presents. Sat him down for a chat, does he want ant farm (meanwhile praying he says no!), looks up at me with big eyes and nods. Make him repeat mantra of "I will not let them loose inside the house" 3 times before I buy ants online. Surely one of my more bizaare purchases.

So, the question is, whats been your most bizaare online purchase?

Can you tell

that I have gone back to work yet? March there are loads a posts, April, not so much!

Work good, am feeling fit and healthy. Have taken up Bikram yoga, am marginally addicted to it, feel fantastic after every class, B is going to come along with me as she lives nearby. I dont exactly look glam after a class (think dragged through several hedgerows backwords and sideways) but after every class I feel the need to do another class almost immediately. Plus I am burning about 1000 calories. I will save the story of the sweaty man in speedos for another time. Mental note.

Kids really good, they are mischievous in ways I cannot begin to explain. We were at a soft play today and they put plastic balls down their tops as boobies. I have some excellent pics of the boy doing a dolly parton. Mental note for when he brings his first girlfriend home.....

E, you will be pleased to know storage is finished, had a brutal clear out. Pic attached.

Had a brilliant time with K on my last weekend before work, we had a very sociable afternoon which then spilled over into the pub, poor babysitter probably wanted to run away when faced with two merry ladies and kids high on easter eggs.

We had our weekend away, was good, am suitably refreshed. Had a wicked weeekend with E and went to Henley where we unashamedly went through half the menu at Maison Blanc pattisserie. Scrummy.

Er, think thats mostly it. S had a fantastic time at LM and M wedding.

Kids storage

Its finally here and I have started "re-configuring it", it maybe not so nice to look at now, but watch this space.

New Haunt

My new haunt is the cafe at Pastorale antiques in Lewes. I treated myself to lunch there. There is not only a free jug of water with lemon and lime on every table but free lolipops as well. The food is great and very reasonable. I ordered a main course and got so much free salad that I almost burst. Their red cabbage salad with cinammon and raisins was to die for.

Ommited to mention

Whilst I was clearing up my arts and crafts table at the church and everyone else was busy tidying up the church, returning the church to normal worship stylie, I get a nod from one of the older ladies. I walk over, intrigued.

An explanation soon emerges: tt would seem that as the chairs had been put back, Madam walks up the aisle and at the end of the aisle, near the pulpit, pees herself. Apparently there was quite a big puddle. S goes to sort her out in the toilets, I try and find Gods mop. Turns out that one of the ladies is already busying herself with putting disinfectant in the water and heads out to tackle the mess.

Muttering apologies I get kids back into car to head home, S tells me that he had his hand down Gods U bend as Madam needed so many tissues to blot her clothes dry, that the toilet got blocked up. I am sensing she does stuff like this deliberately as she likes the fuss.

Dear Budgens

I love our local store [we dont, the prices are astronomical and the selection poor] but I have come to notice that you dont stock clotted cream. Stocking this product could potentially bring in extra sales as there is a more mature demographic in the village and I am sure they all enjoy their scones.

Yours

blah blah

[Sit back and await some nice voicher in the post and for them to stock clotted cream]

Careful what you wish for / freaky goings on.....

Ok, the first update I wont be able to tell anyone about for approx 6 months. Dont even ask me until then as I wont tell. I wont. Just ask me what happened in Lewes approx 1.5 weeks ago. Ask me that after 1 Sep and I will fess up like the French.

Remember the blog entry about when I went to Hungary and I met a woman with triplets? Small world, she seemed like a (stressed) lovely person. I am sure she still is, but why risk your kids reading this article?

Also, remember my post recently about my kind of church? Well, turns out the vicar is short of peeps to help out at the family friendly gathering once a month. I have volunteered to help prep the art and craft stuff, a) as I love that sort of stuff b) as she seemed genuinely stressed this month. Chris one of the curates has asked me for my take on how the family service can be made better. I wont menion the MJ songs just yet eh...

The Suit issue

Storage sorted

Toy room storage has been sorted thanks to the Martlets furniture warehouse. Saw a wardrobe with double doors, opens up and it has cubby holes in it. Got the whole thing for £55 including delivery. It also has a seperate 3 shelf module which can rest under the wardrobe or next to it. Am thinking next to it with a cushion on top will make a nice reading seat.

I am going to paint it mild sage green and put some new handles on it. Storage sorted.

Hedda Gabler

Went out for a girlie night with Beata, Sandy and Emma to see Hedda Gabler at the theatre last saturday. The production was outstanding, the actors were really gripping, Hedda was charming and witty one minute, shockingly evil the next. My kind of entertaiment.

Sandy and I eyed up the bookcase / writing table hybrid in the set, wondering how much it could have been worth. We then went for what we thought was a glass of wine (bottle!) and I got home at the merry hour of 1am. Felt a bit sheepish as I had told our babysitter that I would be back by 11.

We all agreed that Hedda was an interesting and complex character, there were elements of Hedda which I am sure lurk inside me.

Typical

Bought new curtains, for the boys new bedroom. Put them up, seal of approval from all. Try to put boy into bed, looks up at me with adorable eyes and tells me he has had enough of the big bed and wants to go back to sharing with Madam.

Discuss it with him, he is adamant, so make up his old bed, he is now snoring away in there. Spare room looks good with new curtains. Story of my life.

It turns out

that boy does not have sleep issues. Dr was very nice and listened to the list of our concerns. Apparenty 10 - 11 hours is the norm at this age, especially preschool.

So now I have the added pleasure of searching for sofabed for toy toom and turning guest bedroom into boys room, study also needs to accomodate sofa bed. I like a challenge.

Charity shop

will be receiving a lot of clothes, reckon I only sold half my stuff. Annoying thing is I now have to cut all the labels off the clothes, which took me ages to put on. Will find out Friday how much the old ice cream fund has made.

Amm off to blow it all at Zara this arvo.

Very cute

and very warm, little Joseph, congratulations Amy, he is adorable. Amy is glowy and looking none the worse for having been through the mill recently.

Thank you for my cuddles with Joseph, it was a pleasure to meet him and I look forward to more cuddles soon. Forgot to take camera, so no pics unfortunately.

Boys sleep issues

Seperated the kids into seperate bedrooms last night, to cut a very looooong story short, the boy does not sleep properly during the night, wakes up too early and then wakes Madam up, then all hell breaks loose at 3pm as they are both tired.

Madam does not like to have less than 12.5 hours straight sleep. It makes her cantankerous, to put it mildly.

Anyway, boy gets up at just before 6, am happily entertaining the boy at 8:30 when Madam wakes from her slumber. She gives me a massive smile. Cantankerous banished.

Boy has doctors appointment on Monday....watch this space.

A night away or two

Our first night away together since the two kids graced us with their presence has been booked. Am slightly nervous, but bemused. Have asked S to organise some things for our weekend away. Lets see what happens......(dont expect an update on this soon as our weekend away is not for ages!).

VIP babysitters

Ok, lovely neighbours have offered to babysit. We snapped their hands off. After chatting to them some more it turns out that the lovely old man was actually a retired magistrate. My face almost cracked. A magistrate babysitting my two. May as well send them to bed with stripey pj's on. Going to be interesting.

Madam is going to get her first hair cut

I have thought long and hard about how much to trim off her hair. There is a complex formula:

1. Ensure that hair can still be scooped through a polo neck top, this saves a lot of squeeling,the neighbours will thank me for this.

2. She is actually very tall and is wearing aged 4 - 5 tops. Whilst this has nothing to do with the hair as such, I need to trim it so that it still looks long.

3. Needs to take attention away from the self inflicted "emergency / remedy cut" following last weeks bluetack misadventure.

4. Perhaps this should be priority no 1, needs to be very quick!

5. She still needs to look angelic.

Nearly new - ettiquette

We had only been in the village about 3 weeks last time I got clobbered to take stuff to a nearly new sale. The deal is that you clear out all the kiddies unwanted clothes and toys, stick a price tag on them, lug them to the village hall and if they sell the local village play group gets 30% commission. Bargin I thought. At the time.

I am now wiser to the following extent:

1. It was probably a little OTT of me to expect to stick my business cards onto the said items with double sided tape. The feedback I received was that the "name and contact details of the seller had to clearly be shown". I dont think that my personal business cards went down so well. Silly me for thinking a short cut would work.

2. Apparently I overpriced. I dont have an excuse, I just thought that I would try to cover the costs of how much I thought I should be getting to get out of bed at 7am on my kiddie free day off.

So, this time, I have done the following (bear in mind I live in a village!).

1. Printed avery labels, with my contact details. I have attached the label to a straw coloured piece of card. I have then threaded the card through some environmentally friendly string. It looks rustic and pretty. I am half tempted to draw some flowers on the tag just in case it the buyers feel the need to refresh their memories of what the outside world looks like.

2. Price is rock bottom, I want everything to sell, I have a whole pile of PINK (euuurrrgh) dresses here waiting for some little princess to hassle her mum into buying them. This time, I am hoping they all sell so I dont then have to lug them the 100 meters to the charity shop.

Only Saturday am will tell, but whatever happens, there is not a business card in sight and everything is attached.

Wading in

I promised myself that i woud try to refrain from political / social / monetary opinion on this blog, unless it was to poke fun at my life. I think I need to cross the line and wade into the debate about Jon Venebles.

Before I wade in, indulge me a little. I remember having to read Lord of the Flies aged 11. When it got to the part about Piggy falling to his death our teacher put us into groups to discuss events up until now. He watched us very carefully. I think he watched us to guage our reaction to how bad the savagery between the characters had become. We were all aged about 11 - 12 and we all knew that the events leading upto Piggy's death were so "naughty" that it made for some uncomfortable reading.

Jon Venables and his partner in crime knew what they were doing. [If you read "The Jigsaw Man, one of the most disturbing / fascinating books I have ever read, you will find out the true details of what they did to that poor little boy as well as the psychological profile of the two boys].

I dont know what Jon Veneables has done to be taken back to prison. I actually dont want to know. I genuinely hope he gets a fair trial. My concern is this: did he actually spend enough time in prison for the crime he commited originally and has society been too linient with his rehabilitation? If he were to have spent more time in therapy / prison then would he have been recalled now? Whilst the red top papers are trying to drive up a witch hunt, they need to respect the fact that we live in a society where we are innocent until proven guilty. If and when he is found guilty of this latest crime(s) then he should loose any right to freedom. This is on the assumption that he was recalled for a "serious" offence.

Why i shop

As you may know I shop. I love to shop for other people and I dont really spend as much as I am roumoured to.

For example, I have purchased the forthcoming birthday presents for various kiddies on amazon, this gave me a very generous discount voucher for the very lush boden website. I have had my eye on a skirt, feeling that it was far too expensive I set myself a challenge for buying it for less than £15 on ebay or at least 20% off if new. With my amazon discount voucher, job done!

Ordered a green dress from a website, turns out that "green dress" is the remnants of fallout between kermit and puffa fish. The dress is going to morph into beach towels for the kids.

Now, got my eye on a very very nice italian coffee maker. Despite the fact that I have been warned off drinking coffee from a medical professional, I must have at least one vice? No?

If at first you dont succeed...

I have just laughed so hard that I thought I would have a hernia. Stuart caught the boy trying to steal liquorice from the kitchen worktop. Boy looks up with adoring eyes and asks how (Daddy) knew he was about to steal the treats. Stuart tells him that he heard the chair scrapping the floor and it was too quiet otherwise, so he knew something was up.

Ten minutes later, I remark how quiet the house is, we look at eachother, Stuart finds both kids in the kitchen stuffing liquorice down their necks as fast as they can. The boy announces that he enlisted Madam to help him with the chair. Crafty but very very funny.

The nightingale rating

Have discussed with hubby that he gets 7.4 out of 10 for nursing me. He gained plus points for pandering to my requirements of a smoked ostritch sarnie (which was smoked cheese with salami in the end) buying me fizzy sweets. He lost some points for not wearing a nurses outfit, berating me for spending my own money, and for making my porridge lumpy. Otherwise he has been excellent.

Apparently its busier than Grand Central Station here

according to Hubby. Thats because he has been having to asnwer the door to sign for / lug about the stuff I have been ordering. The great thing is that I am still able to surf web, use paypal and still have a good taste in what looks good. Personally I think he is just worried that he may have to change the batteries on the doorbell.

I must admit in the four days or so I have been bored I have sprinkled my money love generously.

He keeps coming in now every hour asking if I require refreshments etc, glances nervously at my screen and asks me if I have ordered anything new.

Blast from the past

My darling son has just reminded me that the cushions are actually luncheon sausage in hungary. He is right, luncheon sausage bought at the butchers is covered in polka dot paper. Wonder what he will be dreaming of tonight?

Bolstering

Still dont have the brain power to tackle the New Scientist, Focus, Time Magazine, The Econimist etc which languishes by my bedside. Have therefore taken old worn out towels and made Charlotte some cushions for her bed. I think they look quite nice, if she does not like them it will go well with the red velvet chair in our bedroom. The eagle eyes amongst you will no doubt spot the temporary hairbands / random bits of string holding the cushions in place. The highlight of tomorrow will be to finish them off.

अपडेट

So, apparently according to my good doctor friend I am allowed to double the all powerful anti inflamatories and add some iron into the daily tablet concoction.

Today, in an effort to make the "milestone" walk into the town bearable, I threw down two anti inflamatories and an out of date iron tablet. normally I would wiki the potential side effects of taking medicines 3 years out of date, but today we are living dangerously.

Hobbled into the village, the 5 min walk took nearer twenty, had to rest up every 20 meters. Good start though, we managed a quick drink in a pub we had not tried and walked home even slooooooooower.

Now I am going to start the sock pairing. Good thing I am an active sort eh?

Charlottes hair is long enough now

I have managed to re-create the Princess Leia look, oh yes. Knew it was only a matter of time!

Tomorrow it will be Heidi/alpine stylie tribute. Will plait her hair and get it to frame her oh so mischievous (and gorgeous) face.

A word on the church thing

I have spent a long time pondering today, its either a choice of watching the olympics closing ceremony and highlights of the two weeks again (whilst listening to the totally negative BBC), reading one of my mags (which I dont yet have the brainpower to do) or just sit here, stare out ahead and think think think.

If I had to re-organise the church service it would be the following:

1. We would sit there and sing MJ songs like Heal the World, Earth Song, or other inspirational / emotive songs such as Wires, Dr Who theme tune (trust me, the oldies will be able to hum that one). You get my drift, none of this song 343 from dust ridden page 276 of the hymn book that noone can be bothered to open.

2. We would not be read to, personally whenever the reading for Paul or Peter the Corinthians comes on, I switch off. We would instead, have readings to ourselves of novels which are inspirational to us, it could be a coffee book table, a travelogue, memoirs, it really does not matter, as long as it has touched you on some level, bring it along. I would take the Red Tent, I would give a brief synopsis of the book and then read the last 3 pages of the book, garunteed to have me sobbing for at least an hour. Either that or the little prince.

3. We would not drink wine or have a wafer. Dont know what to do as an alternative, perhaps all make a loaf of bread? With me, I never have enough wine to wash down the wafer which gets caught in my throat every time.

4. We would talk about local issues, not just the sick and needy but the issues actually impacting our daily lives, for instance the proposal to biuld a 3rd supermarket on the high street, or the lack of things for teenagers to do around the village. We would then have to come up with a plan before the next church meeting, two weeks, to take it forward.

5. I would gather the most premenstrual women in the village as bell ringers, do your worst ladies. I am sure there will be a queue.

6. Er, think thats it.

Answers on a postcard please.

Quick summary

I have had my op, quite painful and the painkillers dont appear to be doing much to stop the cramps or the hot / cold shivers. I am told it will probably be like this for at least another week. From my recollection when I had the op 5 years ago, it seemed like it went on forever. Ho hum. Am still mobile, but retreat to my bed when the kids start squabbling.

Been watching This is IT MJ dvd, its amazing. Think all it proves is that whilst he probably wasnt at the top of his game with weight issues or being able to express himself, he was in total tune to the music and the dancing. He put twnety something dancers to shame. Loved some of his outfits, way out there! I think his "physician" has a lot to answer for.

Kids are doing great, can hear Madam downstairs talking away for England, boy comes in every so often to give me a get well kiss.

Must sign off as fingers are not behaving on the keyboard. E, I think you should be able to post now, let me know if not.

Just a quick one

taking two kids swimming is always going to be a challenge. The words "mummy I'm dpoing a poo" and daughter turning red beetroot colour is probably not what you want to hear echoing round the pool. We had made it ankle deep into the pool before that little surprise was sprung on me. Boy announces he is not coming into the toilets for the cleanup operation as he will be sick if he sees poo. Mentally try to work out how I am going to clean up Madam in the toilets whilst I leave the boy outside the toilets. It cost me a chocolate milkshake to get the boy to stand outside the toilets where I could see him. He is under strict instruction to hold his nose and face AWAY from the poo.

Madam, meanwhile is telling me to get on with cleaning her up as its running down her leg. I furfill my motherly duty, clean her up, wash out her pants and tell the boy we can go back to the swimming pool. I cannot bring myself to make eye contact with the yoof lifeguard who has seen everything. Madam announces she is going to do a wee in the pool. Now I have found a really useful reason why they have learned hungarian, its so I can tell her in Hungarian not to be quiet and just get on with it!

Anyways, turns out taking two kids swimming is very easy if you want your arms to be stretched to those in keeping with an orangutan. For an hour we splash, jump and slide about. Exiting the pool is not so easy. Madam wails like a banshee, I have to promise her we will come back. Slop back to the changing room, get the kids dressed. As I am getting dressed they kindly open the changing room door for all and sundry to see me semi naked, mutter to myself and send them down the corridor to check out the drying machine. I am planning to try it with them next week. I would dearly pay a pound to be dry and not freezing when having to get them dressed and gather up the mess of wet clothes.

Soo back to blogging

Been a bit of a hard week, boy has had vomit bug again, he is on the mend and thats what counts. I met K up in London last Saturday, we mooched about Portobello, grabbed a delicious Pad Thai on a balcony overlookng the market, consumed some martini and checked out westfield shopping centre.

Hubby and I managed a rare day out today, went to a Karma bar at the marina and then checked out the latest Sherlock holmes movie, was a v relaxed day.

Not much else to report, my hyacinths have bloomed and withered. The tulips planted last year are making a tentative appearance out of the ground. If I were them, I would stay there as there is another cold snap expected.

Madam is now dry at night, so no nappies required there. I have purchased her some very lovely non pink bedding. Scary, in a couple of weeks, hopefully once the boy is dry, we wont need anything from the baby ailse. Hip hip hoooooooray!!!

Boys birthday party was great, apart from him getting a little tearful when we all sang him happy birthday. He does not like a fuss. S did us a great puppet show, the adults were in stiches. Most people came back here and chilled out, was great to see everyone.

RIP

Looks like the blogging journey is over, the blog has been compromised. Bring me sunshine!

Handbags at 10 paces and random info

My aunt bought Madam a sparkly mini handbag. Needless to say she loves it. Needless to say that she has gone about my jewlery box to fill her beloved bag with. the word magpie springs to mind, anything sparkly and chunky ended up in her handbag. I keep having to hide the handbag before we leave the house to ensure she does not take anything of great value out of the house.

Bought hyacinths today, two of them, good old reminder that spring is round the corner. Am hoping the bulbs I planted with the boy will start making an appearence.

Boy is so fast on the scooter that I cannot catch him running at full pelt. Madam is content with balancing on her scooter whilst I pull her along.

Fish are settling in, we bought a new plant today, our shoal of 5 will soon become larger. They are very relaxing to watch but the sound of the filter makes me want to pee all the time.

Boys party largely organised, ordered the party bags last night, what else would one do on a Sat night? Rock and roll, it isnt.

Madam had a terrible cough today, so much so that she threw up at one point. She then fell asleep on me for an hour. Its magical having her fall asleep on me, the smell of her hair, the sound of her snoring, sent me into a delerious 40 winks. I needed it as she was awake quite a bit of the night.

Whooo hooo

Managed to leave Henfield today in a car. We cheered as the car left the close. We booed quietly when the car slid all over the place.

Have ordered Camerons bday present from us, a bike, have to plan military operation to find the store and lug it back to the car tomorrow, should be fun with all the snow underfoot.

Have managed to buy a shed load of magazines for my forthcoming NHS mini break. Shall mostly be cooking tomm evening to ensure families blood sugar levels do not fall to critical levels. In Madam's case this will entail cooking half a cow, at least.

Er, thats it. Am now off to sort my work life out for tommorrow.....

A Decade

Eva makes a brilliant point on her blog. Summary of a decade. Well, here goes mine. Main highlights are obviously my two children. My husband, who ten years ago insited would never get married and have children. Would love to meet his 31 year old self and show him the future.

The last ten years have been an even split of 5 years of near constant holidays to the holiday from sanity and reality following the birth of two children very close together. They are fab though, easily the highlight of the decade.

There have been qualifications: PADI, PRINCE2 and graduation to the ninja art of project management. Wonderful memories of Eva: convincing her to come out for one drink, which morphed into many drinks and a nightclub, dare I mention the biscuit factory..... drinking on the beach with Erika and Gabi listening to music blasting out of the Concorde bar. Amy dressed up in on my hen night. Inuagural book club. LM being design queen on an interior design day out. Walking on a remote diving island with Stuart, askign him what was moving over in the water, only to find it was a large monitor lizard heading for the beach. Lazy days in Koh Phi Phi, crazy days in Barbados. Beata, Erika, my aunt I in Italy. Dion, Sue, Dan and Kat in a Hummer in Vegas.

Kids making me laugh till I almost cry. Memories of my dad at Alabardos restaurant. Zita speed shopping for all she was worth in between flights. Mama being addicted to mango chutney.....

All in all a decade of decadence but now I am hopefully older and wiser, deffo not the same Barbara as in 2000. Which is the way it should be, no?

Summary

Summary of summaries I am afraid, as I have too many documments / emails to update. I have calculated that apart from this blog, the kids private diary, my private diary, I probably generate / update on average 15 documents a day (this includes private emails). This is simply too many if, you want to remain marginally sane and go to bed before the sandman hits you in the back of the head.

So, here is is: feeling life it sloooly getting back into normal before the days of two very small children. they are now both out of nappies during the day. madam is now in a bed sans rails and delights in not staying in the bed when she is supposed to be there at 8pm. Great news is that she will quite happily sleep until 10am, bad news is that the boy wakes up with the cockrels.

had a great time in Italy, hubby and I managed to grab a day out with my uncle in Lugano, got some much needed adult time whilst the two kids kept the family amused with their antics.

we have been snowed in, this has prompted unprecedented levels of cabin fever, especially as madam does not like the snow. too cold. we can make it about 10 meters out of the house and she starts to whine. and she whines REALLY well.

I have laughed with my wonderful family over christmas, cried at Dr who and decided to play reggae music and take the kids to the tropical fish place in order to inject some much needed heat into our lives.

we have helped the reverend clear her soft top sports car from snow, had jumping on the bed competitions, and I have forcibly cleaned the kids toy room up. the house is lightter of toys by one big dustbin bag, and they have not even noticed.

A certain swedish furniture manufacturer will be providing me with some storage solutions in the not too distant future whilst hubby cries at mere mention of putting together flat packed furniture.

I have been at an Italian shopping mall at 7am. This is due to my granny's flight leaving at stupid ockolck from an airport in a shopping mall. Ironically granny got home ealier than we managed to get into our first shop. Did a modest amount of shopping for the boy as he has developed crane like legs which wont fit into trousers. Did not manage to buy anything for the girl as Italian shops have an annoying habit of thinking small children have a waist. Madam has never had one, and if she carries on at this rate, never will. I have a wonderful picture of Madam in front of a tray of biscuits. You know can probably fill in the the rest of the story.....

My auntie and Mama cooked up a storm, they made culinary delights that I am still salvating over. Hmmm, we have probably eaten our weight in parma ham. My cousins are now grown up young men, sometimes I have to pinch myself that they are so tall and adult like.

Good news is that the tropical fish tank is in place.....just need the fish now.