Super Salmon

So, the salmon spawned some golden caviar themselves, the shares I chose went up over £2.30 each, netting me a tidy £200 after costs. Whooo hoo. Hubby has decreed a competition for next year, we each get £100 to choose some shares with whoever bags the most cash will pay for a shot of falling down water.

Have got my list and am now looking to open up an account with a broker. We have agreed that in the interests of fair play, I would have my own broker as until now we have been using his. I am looking forward to picking the phone up, quoting a code and saying “buy, buy”. Hopefully not sell sell!

Nasty Dentist

Nasty dentist wont let me cancel hygienist appointment, due to piggy flu. Will cost me £15 to cancel apparently. Decide to go and pass the flu to the stroppy receptionist. As I am getting my fix of National Geographic magazine, I hear the tones of the receptionist getting shriller towards the recipient on the other end of the phone. Pretend to read the mag but tune my bat ears to the conversation. ……………….”no Mrs Xxxx the dentures definitely had teeth marks on them, the repair will most DEFINITELY be chargable”………”I am very sorry Mrs X, are you sure the dog did not chew them by accident”, they did have a lot of damage……………”, laugh quietly to myself and decide that this was worth £15 in itself.

When to keep quiet

In the middle of swine flu I casually happened to mention to Madam that once she was all better, how would she like to not wear nappies, but use a potty. She looks at me as though I have just suggested boiling live puppies. Tilts her head, points to her nappy that I am about to put on her and throws down the gauntlet of “ I do NOT want to wear any more nappies”. Shudder slightly, not sure if this is from the flu, or because I know how the next week is going to pan out. We will be housebound again. Great.

Hubby is on the phone to our friend in Oz. I quickly say hello. Must have been distracted as I promised Madam two chocolate coins if she does a poo on the potty. All I hear from the hallway is boy urging Madam to deliver the goods as he needs a chocolate coin. Am pulled eagerly towards the bathroom, Madam is jumping up and down. Yes, you guessed it, potty full of poo. Boy jumping up and down gleefully telling me to “get chocolate coins mummy, hooray”! We give Madam a large clap, head off to get chocolate coins, boy looks in potty and declares he is about to be sick. Deal chocolate coins like a trigger happy pirate, clean up offending mess and wonder if our friend in Oz heard what just went on……..

Shreklike Piggyflu

When I first saw this picture I thought it was of someone who had walked through three valleys, wind and rain to get to a doctor as they had severe toothache. I wondered what I would relate that picture to next in my life. Swine Flu. Not the severity, but the fact that little would I believe I would be able to survive 5 whole days housebound with two sick kiddies. I came close to licking windows, we played a LOT of snakes and ladders, went through a lot of tissues but hardly any food. Good news is that kiddies are all recovered apart from lime green Shreklike snot.