The Christmas Menu

is as follows:

Breakfast apperitif

Parmesan crunchie with smoked salmon and bucks fizz (for the adults) or for the kids should they get up too early!!

Lunch:

French Onion Soup

Slow roasted leg of lamb with home made red wine and herb gravy

Caramelised red onions

Leeks ala Eva's parents

Roast Potatoes

Roast Carrots

Red Cabbage ala Mama

Medley of roasted vegetables (whatever odd veg I can get my hands on)

Creamed parsnip and celeriac

Dessert:

Christmas chocolate log / Pannettone / Pandoro / Fudge Fairy Cakes with marshmallow topping

Well deserved coffee.

One of those days

You have a subtle feeling that the day is going to be interesting, when the boy shuffles into the bedroom at 5:45, declares he is not tired and wants to see the snow. Advise him that there is no snow, but that sleep fairy decrees its TOO early. hubby puts him back to bed. half hour later, boy shuffles in, announding he has done a poo. my cue to get up.....

Kids discover air hockey at localish soft play area. Madam's arms are too short to reach properly, so have her on the table, am helping her out trying to stop the boy from scoring (his eye hand co-ordination is phenomenal!) when Madam decides its my fault that she is loosing. Never had a air hockey pusher try to seperate my fingers from my wrist. Wont be in a hurry to try it again. Mutter loudly that Santa was probably watching that. Go back to the bag, pretend to write a note in my notebook. Tell her that its for Santa's daily report. Madam wails the house down. Seriously, she could rake in cash for the local firebrigade, should their alarms ever fail.

Some time later we are at bike shop, took them to get helmets for their scooters, which Santa will supply, if they are good. Having coaxed one of them to put helmet on, the other small one announces she needs a wee. As she has only just been potty trained we dash out. As we are descending stairs I notice boy still has helmet on. Would it come off easily? Ofcourse not. Madam yelling she needs a wee, boy getting frustrated that I cannot take helmet off, makes me chuckle to myself. I am still chuckling as Madam is held against the car to relieve herself. Boy thinks its time to make a stream into a river and decides to tandem pee.

My laughter is cut short when I see the direction of the pee. Its heading towards a porsche. the puddle stops just next to (ofcourse it would!!!) the drivers door. Am pulling the kids trousers up, assuring them that the steam from the pee is not the same as steam from thomas, when i see the driver heading towards the porsche. Run back into he store with kids half dressed, really did not want to hang around for the abuse on that one!

In the store both kids have helmets forcibly bestowed, they start banging heads. Keeps them occupied whilst I pay and mumble apologies.

We head home, stopping off at a local shop. Madam announces she needs a poo. Tell her to do it in her pants, as no toilet available, and we are some way from the car. She obliges, and starts running round the store telling anyone who will listen that she has done a BIG poo. As I enter my pin I hear her and boy arguing over the fact that she is smelly, and but that the boy did a smellier poo earlier.

Quick Roundup

Glowing appraisal at work (payrise linked) - check. Two very tired but happy kiddies after the Science Museum - check. Drunken frivolity at works dept do - check. Madam potty trained and moving onto toilet - check. Christmas presents, bought, wrapped and sent - mostly check, all bought but am bored of wrappying and posting, may probably delegate to hubby.

Kids "motivated" (via chocolate) to create some hand made presents - check. Hubby supplied with list of presents which I dont have to feign excitement at - check. Food ordered and menu assembled - come on, this is me we are talking about - check, ofcourse! Day off in lieu of the above - check (it was lush to say the least!). Boys birthday invites organised - check. Backup of all photos and pc bits just in case - check. Grow nails and avoid biting them even though root filling takes place - CHECK! Give up bread - checkish (comeon, have to have room for improvement somewhere. Chewy bread, gets me every time!!!).

Go me!!!

Christmas is all about

kids faces lighting up when they open the present, a few too many yo ho ho's when cooking the food, cinamon and vanilla sugar, Mama having the last say at the highly inappropriate tree which grossly uberpaid for, frantic last minute christmas card dispersal, sneaking upstairs to wrap a present for someone who has turned up unannounced, incestous Christmas party at work, kids devouring chocolates of the tree which are about 10 years old, Mama making a hand made Christmas decoration, tantalising baking and food smells from MAmas kitchen, Pannetonne, more pannetone, turkey stuffed under the skin ala me, cold turkey sarnies, smoked salmon, mulled wine ala Mama, stockpile of batteries so high you could open a corner shop, bucks fizz, walnut, poppy seed beigli, pogacsa, hugs, kisses, Dr Who, sitting in the dark room with only the lights on the Christmas tree illuminating the fact that you are raiding the chocolate tin, walnuts from our land, hazelnuts from Mama's land, random bits of sellotape hanging off the table post wrapping frenzy (only to be discovered in july), long walk whilst food roasts, honeyed roast parsnips,red cabbage ala me, cheezy christmas card competition with hubby, the sound of the doorbell, red wine, more wine, being in your Pj's on boxing day until 4pm...becoming an expert in piecing together the toy which toddler is demanding assebly of pronto, polar express, christmas carol, christmas cards, terry's chocolate orange, hangover!!

Christmas is not: mince pies, christmas cake, queens speech (apart from to heckle),scrooge, supposed to be about spending 3 hours untangling the lights, trying to jazz up the Christmas door wreath only for it to fall apart in your hands, woolworths (sadly!).