Just a quick one

taking two kids swimming is always going to be a challenge. The words "mummy I'm dpoing a poo" and daughter turning red beetroot colour is probably not what you want to hear echoing round the pool. We had made it ankle deep into the pool before that little surprise was sprung on me. Boy announces he is not coming into the toilets for the cleanup operation as he will be sick if he sees poo. Mentally try to work out how I am going to clean up Madam in the toilets whilst I leave the boy outside the toilets. It cost me a chocolate milkshake to get the boy to stand outside the toilets where I could see him. He is under strict instruction to hold his nose and face AWAY from the poo.

Madam, meanwhile is telling me to get on with cleaning her up as its running down her leg. I furfill my motherly duty, clean her up, wash out her pants and tell the boy we can go back to the swimming pool. I cannot bring myself to make eye contact with the yoof lifeguard who has seen everything. Madam announces she is going to do a wee in the pool. Now I have found a really useful reason why they have learned hungarian, its so I can tell her in Hungarian not to be quiet and just get on with it!

Anyways, turns out taking two kids swimming is very easy if you want your arms to be stretched to those in keeping with an orangutan. For an hour we splash, jump and slide about. Exiting the pool is not so easy. Madam wails like a banshee, I have to promise her we will come back. Slop back to the changing room, get the kids dressed. As I am getting dressed they kindly open the changing room door for all and sundry to see me semi naked, mutter to myself and send them down the corridor to check out the drying machine. I am planning to try it with them next week. I would dearly pay a pound to be dry and not freezing when having to get them dressed and gather up the mess of wet clothes.