A word on the church thing

I have spent a long time pondering today, its either a choice of watching the olympics closing ceremony and highlights of the two weeks again (whilst listening to the totally negative BBC), reading one of my mags (which I dont yet have the brainpower to do) or just sit here, stare out ahead and think think think.

If I had to re-organise the church service it would be the following:

1. We would sit there and sing MJ songs like Heal the World, Earth Song, or other inspirational / emotive songs such as Wires, Dr Who theme tune (trust me, the oldies will be able to hum that one). You get my drift, none of this song 343 from dust ridden page 276 of the hymn book that noone can be bothered to open.

2. We would not be read to, personally whenever the reading for Paul or Peter the Corinthians comes on, I switch off. We would instead, have readings to ourselves of novels which are inspirational to us, it could be a coffee book table, a travelogue, memoirs, it really does not matter, as long as it has touched you on some level, bring it along. I would take the Red Tent, I would give a brief synopsis of the book and then read the last 3 pages of the book, garunteed to have me sobbing for at least an hour. Either that or the little prince.

3. We would not drink wine or have a wafer. Dont know what to do as an alternative, perhaps all make a loaf of bread? With me, I never have enough wine to wash down the wafer which gets caught in my throat every time.

4. We would talk about local issues, not just the sick and needy but the issues actually impacting our daily lives, for instance the proposal to biuld a 3rd supermarket on the high street, or the lack of things for teenagers to do around the village. We would then have to come up with a plan before the next church meeting, two weeks, to take it forward.

5. I would gather the most premenstrual women in the village as bell ringers, do your worst ladies. I am sure there will be a queue.

6. Er, think thats it.

Answers on a postcard please.