From the woman that brought you

how to get a potato to successfully take root in your car door, I bring you new tidings. Hubby is away this weekend, somewhere deepest darkest middle Englandshire, having a pissup in an Elizabethan mansion to celebrate a friends 40th. I have had the day from hell with the kids.

I would quite happily have swapped today for a root canal extraction, combined with having my fingernails removed without painkillers or sedation. I got through it with gritted teeth, at one stage telling the boy that I was not going to tell him off again, as that would have been the 20th time that hour. Instead, I have been paitiently awaiting 7pm, when they are both in bed, to raid the snack cupboard. Imagine my surprise when I find nothing but a half soggy packet of rich tea biscuits, which are tinged with a fine veneer of musty cupboard taste. Decide that the biscuits will probably last me until I find something more substantial. I screamed silently when I realise that there are not many options available to me, and, as I am on my own with the kids I cannot pop out for chocolate. Toy with the idea of popping next door and asking them to get me some chocolate, but dont want to appear too desperate. Which, ofcourse, I am.

My only option is the attached picture. Desperate times call for (decidedly) desperate and dodgy measures. This is the contents of a pack of sweets which I remember purchasing with Eva in the big Apple in 2007. Feb 2007 to be precise. As you can see, they have had better days, definately judging by the sweating. They are also all stuck together. Whilst peeling back the packet, (which by the way struggled to the last not to be prized open, how rude!) I felt that I made a wrong career choice and should have been a forensic scientist.

I am going a little arty on this one, I call it South America, in part reason because it resembles the continent, partly because I find that this is a new low, not even in the same ball park as the evening which was witness to "the cooking chocolate fest".

I dont quite know how long it will take me to try and munch my way through this hazardous continent. I can only imagine that I will have an adventure and will need false teeth afterward. Bring on the mouth ulcers.

May even resort to soaking them overnight in a cup of water, so, should I can just have an alternative type of juice tomorrow am before another giddy day.