Minor annoyances

These are the things that annoy me to the point of wanting to set fire to the nails of perpetrators of the following:

1. Notes stating “may I remind you of…” when in fact you have not even mentioned it to me. Ever. Whenever this happens, I want to buy some letter headed paper stating “Association for those whose Short Term Memory is Challenged” and send them a note back asking who are you and how do you know me?

2. People saying FYI. This should be a criminal offence.

3. Stuart reminding me to fill up with diesel, not petrol.

4. The phrase “Criminally Insane”. What’s that all about? Were you insane before you became a criminal or vice versa?

5. Auto signatures on emails that already have “Thanks and kind regards” written on them.

6. People who are impressed by “vine ripened tomatoes” are you mad?, where else do you think they grow? For that matter, add organic mushrooms to the list.

7. Anyone who quotes statistical probability of dying on an airplane.

8. The ugly sock. Whenever I buy a multipair of socks, there is always one really hideous pair, these socks will invariably be the one who will never be unpaired and then you end up wearing them all the time.

9. Stuart telling me whenever we are driving on a road in Europe that he has already paid for it, via his taxes.

10. My inability to remember Stuarts moby number, despite it being the same for 10 years.

11. The father who shopped his gun totting son to the police. Smart move, now he is going to be in prison, learning how to be a better criminal. Nice one.