Nanny State

Stuart andI are sick. Stuart has flu, proper flu where he sweats profusely and if just in a world of pain. I just have a cold. To try and drug oursevles out of it, I went to the supermarker to buy copius amounts of Day and Night Nurse for Stupot and Paracetemol for me. I had four boxes of paracetemol at 16p each (bargin) (and yes I am aware this is reading like the starter to a maths question), 1 box of Lemsip, 1 Day Nurse and One Sainsburys own brand of flu remedy. Get to the checkout, assistant tells me to go back to the pharmacy as i am not allowed to buy 4 boxes of paracetemol due to new legislation. she tells me to go back and buy 2 boxes of 32. I stare at her blankly, thinking she is being akward, ask if there is a shortage of boxes of 16's which is why she wants to keep them.

No is the reply, new rules dictate that I could be wanting to commit suicide and that I can only get the boxes of 32 from the pharmacist himself. Slope back to the pharmacy. Queue everso patiently, ask for my box of 32, she explains the same as the cashier, asks me if I want to pay there instead of going back to the cash desk. As she is putting the items through the till, it wont accept the third flu remedy, again, due to this new legislation.

Have a very hard time keeping calm, keep repeating the mantra of "its not her fault" to myself. Agree to leave the 3rd flu remedy behind.

So, it would appear that I can actually have the same amount of paracetemol but in a different volume box, thanks to New Labour. Furthermore, I will have to make a seperate trip to stock up on the other essential flu remedies. Isnt life just a little too complex at times?

Dark Angel

We have a new member of the family, its called Dark Angel. This "thing" is responsible for me doing many a daft thing, a bit like midas touch in reverse. Dark Angel (DA) goads me into putting an extra blanket on Lottie, when she is sleeping, thus wakign her up. DA is responsible for pushing me onto the untangled tree lights, tripping over, bruising myself, tangling lights up again thus requiring an extra half hour of my time. DA is also then responsible for me stepping back to admire the tree, stepping on the next set of lights only to hear a crunch.

DA takes many guises during the day, it leaps into the pram brakes, forcing them to get stuck and my instep to get covered in bruises levering it out.

DA struck again at bills, after getting a whole basket of goods together, it was responsible for a bunch of soaking wet parsley falling into the bag and destroying all the paperbags. I only found this out when lifting the bags from the floor to the worktop. Cue scattered vegetables, bread and cheeses all over the kitchen floor.

I could go on, but hopefully DA will find another hapless soul to torment.. SOON (PLEASE!).

Dear Santa

For Crimbo I would like:

1. The ability to remember to lock my car, so that the alarm does not interrupt the precious sleep I manage to get.

2. I would like my kids to amuse themselves for 5 minutes, so that I can eat some food without having to gulp it down like a pelican.

3. I would like to find the time to wear clothes that actually look good, I have many in my wardrobe, but, alas, I only ever get 5 mins to get ready, even then I am holding a child in my arms.

4. If all else fails with points 1 - 3. Give me more arms, more hours in the day and hook me up to redbull on tap, and I will be ok.

Thanks in advance

Barbara

Pre Christmas Wriggle

I have accidentally found a new way to check how much weight I have put on. Accidental, as I discovered it whilst standing one legged in the shower dogding bath toys. An unlikely setting I hear you say for weighing ones self, but oh no, this is not weighing or BMI, or anything complex like that. You simply stand on one leg and shake your whole body for about a minute.

You can then see and hear the fat (and in my case cellulite, scar tissue etc) gently (or in my case vigourously) trying to defy gravity. I made a mental note of all the noises I heard and I will repeat the experiment after a trully full fat Christmas. Just for reference, my right bum cheek discovered my left thigh, hopefully they will not be such firm friends in 2008 as I am hoping to get more excersise!

Update on update...

As updates go this is probably not one of much but here goes...Lottie had her appointment yesterday at the hospital. As suspected, its colic of some sort, the consultant said as she was developing normally that there is nothing wrong. Lottie spent the whole appointment cooing at Dr Butt (yes that was his real name). Stuart and I giggled like teenagers when we found out. Cameron was contented as he ripped the waiting room apart. In a vain attempt to appease children, the hospital had a large fish tank. Was he content with looking at it? Ofcourse not, he had to explore the noisiest toys, drop various boxes full of jigsaw puzzles and try and steal another kids car. I stopped maintaining eye contact with any adults shortly afterwards....

The consultant said I should feed her less as she is "sturdy", I think that means fat. So we have tried that today, and failed.

Cameron is officially bored at being housebound due to the colic, I dont blame him. The plan for Friday is to get out. Yesterday he was incredibly naughty, he just kept on destrying things. Given the fact that we were out at the hospital most of yesterday, he still managed to draw on the walls, remove the input cover to the telly and use it as a spade to remove earth from a pot plant, throw food on his sister, mash banana into the carpet AND damage my books. Never have I craved a G&T more.

Crimbo shopping is done. I have had a genius idea of actually buying four types of presents and alternating them between family and friends.

My best buy was a flashing rubber duck complete with santa hat. Press the belly on the duck and it trips the Christmas light fantastic. Am going for lunch with a friend tomorrow and Thursday is decorate the tree day.

We also managed to get out as a couple for the first time in over 4.5 months last week. It
was fantastic, I sat listening to the dulcit tones of Vivaldi by candlelight and almost wept with joy. I did not even mind the fact that it took us almost 4 hours to get Lottie to some form of sleep after we got home, and that was sleeping on me. Bliss to be out again. I also went shopping with Eva and seemingly spent a fortune on nothing, but that was great fun too.

Ebay Woes and Hidden books

Ok, last time I bought something on ebay, it did not actually work out that well. BUT, ever the eternal optimist, I thought I would buy a friends present on there. WRONG, oh so wrong!

Won the bid, yippee. Contacted seller, who only accepted postal orders, tried to obtain their address. After 3 days and 4 futile emails, I emailed them to say, thanks but I will source the product elsewhere and posted some negative feedback for them. I duly received this response:

"re you some kind of clown ive read your feedback,s and it say,s alot bout you i think you need to sort your head out and give it a wobble i don,t relist thing,s if you had paid ypu would have recived your good,s you deceied you have not made contact with me ps reade my feedback,s when i leave you one more your,s will look great ,ha ha ha"

Last time I checked, I had straw between my ears for basically not sleeping for the last 6 months. It does wobble, but does not distrub me that much. Ah well, I always wanted a cyber stalker...

Contacted ebay, they are chasing the person up. Not that I need them to, as I have purchased the product elsewhere.

Have decided to cheer myself up by buying lots of Faith Brown inspired jewlery from Hong Kong, costing only 1p, but postage is 4.99. Bargin. SARS presumably free? If nothing else, my earlobes will get some excersise whilst trying to support some cubic zirconia monstrosity!

On a darker note, we have slept even less in the last week than it is possible to do. We are still doing the shift system, and Stuart is unable to work Monday and Fridays as Cameron is at home, and I am physically unable to get through such days without locking myself in the kitchen and crying my eyes out. I do however, lock the child gate behind me so that my darling son does not see his ever so slightly stressed mother wailing (on the inside) like a mute banshee.

We now have a referral to the hospitalfor her colic. Cameron has been sick the last week, so no nursery for him, no work for Stuart, and I have not left the house in a week.

I have also hidden some of Camerons books, as if I had to red Rosies Walk, one more time, I would have screamed. I have read that book to him approx 15 times a day for the last month. I decided yesterday evening that it would have to join the gruffalo, on the top shelf of the bookcase. It will only ever see daylight again once he is 3 years old. Reading this you probably think I am harsh. I probably am.

.One present for me....

Ok, have now made it into town twice this week (whoooho!) accompanied by ever so patient hubby. When he is not folding / unfolding prams, getting screaming baby to sleep whilst we are out he is either buying me icecream or following me patiently around a shop.

I am now comfort shopping, one present for me, one for someone else. Problem is that the present for me is actually for one of the kids and the present for someone else is actually wholly unsuitable for the person it is meant for. Never mind. I figure if I keep being escorted into town then I am bound to find the right present. NCP must love me at the moment!

Was absolutely determined to read a book last night, but seeing as all the books are in Cams room, had to make do with reading a Hungarian recepie book for fear of disturbing him. Boy did I go to sleep hungry. It is probably what was responsible for my foul mood at 2 am when I announced to hubby that after pacifying Lottie for an hour and a half it was his turn. I turned on my heels and left her room and went back to our bed, pulled the duvet over my head and went to sleep. Does this make me a bad mother? Answers on a post it note please....

PS I can thoroughly recommend a 15 tog duvet for drowning out screaming.....