Otherwise known as Imelda.

My little girl is a joy. She is also a minx. For instance, the boy, although cheeky, has never pushed the bounderies quite like Madam, who is insistant on twisting everyone round her little finger. If we needed to get the boy out of the swing, we just told him that swing time was over, time to go on the slide / climbing frame etc. With Madam, to get her from the swing, I start weaving a story about the swing being tired, she looks at me with fire in her eyes and declares NO! I reiterate to Madam that the swing is creaking because it is tired. The swing won’t go any faster or higher as it’s the swings nap time. Round we go like this for five minutes. Madam then accepts that the swing is tired as its still. She allows me the privilege of taking her from the swing, she hugs it, says night night, thank you and waves it bye bye.

So, now you know she is hard work, but equally adorable. It was a rainy day, so I decide to take the kids to a local soft play area. Madam brings me her sandals to wear. Explain to her that we cannot wear sandals today. Show Madam that the boy and I are wearing winter outdoor shoes. I am met with crying and a shoe being thrown at me (not the sandal sadly, as I could have then confiscated it). I open the door and show Madam the pouring rain. Cue more crying and sandal waving. After much cajoling, we agree that her doll will guard the sandals whilst we are out and she can wear them in the house when we get back. All the way to the soft play area all I hear is the sound of Madam trying to take her shoes off, shouting, “not mine”.

Some time later, we are playing at the top of the soft play frame. I hear a scream and Madam hurls herself down the slide and runs off into the distance. Boy and I rush after her. Turns out that a little girl has the same sandals that Madam has just left at home. The little girl is bewildered. In the confusion all I hear is Madam screaming Mine, Mine. We are now joined by bewildered little girls mum who is asking me whether her girl pushed mine……….