1000 Angry Ants

Take 1000 angry ants, 1000 baseball bats, and around 500 maces. Combine these together in your skull, add a fever, projectile vomiting and light sensitivity, what have you got? Viral meningitis.

Hand on heart I have never known pain like it. This from the woman that has experienced two babies skulls nestled into her ribs for the last six weeks of pregnancy, resulting in only partial ability to breathe, have had nipples chewed off by relentlessly unruly babies, resulting in me crying in pain, whenever it was feeding time, which, unfortunately was all too often!

It started innocently enough, I was at a kiddies party, headache started and within 15 minutes was really quite painful. I put it down to not drinking enough water and running in and out of a warm house, into a cold garden. Within 30 mins I was asking for paracetemol (unheard of for me!).

An hour later I am begging hubby to drive home on straight roads as I cannot handle turning corners. Am unable to get the kids into bed, leave them in the care of hubby as I crawl into bed. I assume it’s a 24 hour bug. By the next morning I am totally drained of any energy, my head feels like Helman province has relocated there, my ears are throbbing from fever and I have to have the duvet over my head to “keep out the pesky light”. Hubby dutifully brings me two paracetemol and looks after kids. By 11 am I am asking him to phone duty doc. (Again, unheard of for me).

Docs arrive, quick assessment later they tell me that they cannot rule out meningitis (bacterial or viral) and they arrange for A&E to expect me. They tell me to pack an overnight bag. I tell hubby that I just need something for the pain and once I have that I will be home. He drops me off at A&E.

Within about 5 mins of announcing my name I am wheeled into a cubicle behind a&E. By this time I am very quiet from the pain, I cannot really move my head or neck or the ants get really angry and pound my head again. So there I am in a wheelchair, eyes fixed on the ground, trying not to anger the ants. First I see a nurse who sticks a line into my arm “for fluids she explains”, another nurse tries to get blood out of the other arm, within 10 mins my hand is looking like a novelty pin cushion.

Dr arrives, asks me lots of questions, I keep repeating to her that if they give me something for the pain I will leave them to concentrate on the really sick patients. At which stage, she lowers her voice and tells me I am really sick. Again, the quietness returns to my mind, if I keep looking at the floor the ants wont return. After the SHO checks me over, I am left with a nurse, whom I actually cannot make eyecontact with, as I am still staring at the floor. She tells me they are taking me to a CT scanner to check for a bleed on my brain.



It still at that stage had not hit home how serious things could get. After CT scan, I am wheeled into a ward without windows. Doc comes and explains there is no bleed on the brain, (which I pretty well knew anyway), and that they are going to do a lumbar puncture to see if its bacterial or viral meningitis.

Before you know it I am in a foetal position, trying not to move, “if you move it could damage your spine” being my mantra. Meanwhile something has clearly angered the ants who have now decided its time to rake my brain. Each drag of the rake results in a hot jolt of pain from the front of my skull to the back. Meanwhile, hubby is holding my hand, which I cannot really feel due to the fever and need to vomit. What can I say, if you ever need a lumbar puncture in your life, have some vodka first, about 2 litres should do it, that will help prepare you for the sensation of someone sticking a knitting needle between your disks. By the time its in, and you have caught your breath, they are removing it and you wished the needle was still inside. All in all, it was so ghastly that I ran out of happy thoughts.

I then have to lie down for the next hour to try and reduce the risk of post lumbar puncture headache. After 40 mins, my old nemesis projectile vomiting is back.

At 3 am they wake me with the news that its probably bacterial meningitis and they need to give me some anti biotics, steroids and anti sickness tablets.

Next morning the doc does the rounds and confirms it is bacterial meningitis, and that they caught it early. I feel as though I wont the lottery. Unfortunately the nurse who has to administer my fluid antibiotics sets the machine incorrectly and runs the concoction in over 15 mins instead of an hour. The result is that I start hallucinating, heart racing and being breathless. On top of all this, the ants are back, luckily they have had the baseball bats confiscated but they seem to be practising Riverdance…

I am moved onto an isolation ward. By moved, imagine me pleading with them not to move me out of the bed as the pain will be back. I then have to be “persuaded” to go.

Isolation ward is quite nice, I get my own room. The Ants are back in force and no amount of painkillers will help. By this time its Monday, and I have not eaten since sat arvo. Shiny food is presented to me which makes a return about 15 mins later.

More steroids, more anti sickness drugs, which don’t really work, more lapsing in and out of catnaps (am unable to sleep as if I move my head accidentally the ants turn on the chainsaw). And repeat this for another 24 hours. Next morning dr tells me that the lab results are back, it was not bacterial meningitis but a very severe dose of viral meningitis. Apparently I must have caught it from one of the kids (luckily who are immune) and I am released to go home under strict orders not to move a muscle for two weeks (again, if you know me, sitting still is impossible, due to ants (not angry kind) in my pants!

The upshot is that I am still quite weak, my back kills, but I have been very lucky.

Thanks everyone for your cards, flowers, messages, support and help. I will email you all individually when I can sit at a desk for longer than a nanosecond.