1. Become Russian Orthodox Church member and celebrate Christmas on 6th January. Encourage family and friends to do the same. We can then buy Christmas presents for each other in the sales.
2. Get the boy to become a postman. He likes getting up early. He also likes Postman Pat. Perfect qualities to delver the queens mail.
3. Remove all the crumbs and leftover food items from underneath the kids car seats. This mush alone would feed the family for a week.
4. Get the kids to have less baths. Being grotty is the new clean.
5. Bind the kids feet. Each pair of shoes costs on average £30. They need two pairs at a time. Shoes need to be replaced every three months (or even less if the game of “ hurl the shoe into the garden next door” goes horribly wrong”).
6. Tell the kids that when the ice cream van plays its jingle, it actually means that it’s run out of stock entirely.
7. Dont ever boil the kettle with the intention of having a hot drink. You wont have time to drink it whilst its warm. By the time you remember you need a drink it will have a film on it.
2 comments:
OR become a hippie and sell the tv, force the kids to watch hand puppet shadow plays in the evenings, make your own soap and only use recycled clothes (beg them off friends).
OR move to Thailand, let the kids run around naked, eat cheap and great food and live in a hut. just bring something to kill bugs and spiders with.
Totally up for the Thailand idea. Kids kill bugs. Voila. Money saved.
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