One of those days

You have a subtle feeling that the day is going to be interesting, when the boy shuffles into the bedroom at 5:45, declares he is not tired and wants to see the snow. Advise him that there is no snow, but that sleep fairy decrees its TOO early. hubby puts him back to bed. half hour later, boy shuffles in, announding he has done a poo. my cue to get up.....

Kids discover air hockey at localish soft play area. Madam's arms are too short to reach properly, so have her on the table, am helping her out trying to stop the boy from scoring (his eye hand co-ordination is phenomenal!) when Madam decides its my fault that she is loosing. Never had a air hockey pusher try to seperate my fingers from my wrist. Wont be in a hurry to try it again. Mutter loudly that Santa was probably watching that. Go back to the bag, pretend to write a note in my notebook. Tell her that its for Santa's daily report. Madam wails the house down. Seriously, she could rake in cash for the local firebrigade, should their alarms ever fail.

Some time later we are at bike shop, took them to get helmets for their scooters, which Santa will supply, if they are good. Having coaxed one of them to put helmet on, the other small one announces she needs a wee. As she has only just been potty trained we dash out. As we are descending stairs I notice boy still has helmet on. Would it come off easily? Ofcourse not. Madam yelling she needs a wee, boy getting frustrated that I cannot take helmet off, makes me chuckle to myself. I am still chuckling as Madam is held against the car to relieve herself. Boy thinks its time to make a stream into a river and decides to tandem pee.

My laughter is cut short when I see the direction of the pee. Its heading towards a porsche. the puddle stops just next to (ofcourse it would!!!) the drivers door. Am pulling the kids trousers up, assuring them that the steam from the pee is not the same as steam from thomas, when i see the driver heading towards the porsche. Run back into he store with kids half dressed, really did not want to hang around for the abuse on that one!

In the store both kids have helmets forcibly bestowed, they start banging heads. Keeps them occupied whilst I pay and mumble apologies.

We head home, stopping off at a local shop. Madam announces she needs a poo. Tell her to do it in her pants, as no toilet available, and we are some way from the car. She obliges, and starts running round the store telling anyone who will listen that she has done a BIG poo. As I enter my pin I hear her and boy arguing over the fact that she is smelly, and but that the boy did a smellier poo earlier.