As far as I can make out it goes a little like this:
1. You will not creep into my room before 8:30am, even if it is to check that I am still breathing. Should you wake me, know that I will need to sleep an extra two hours just to cure the shock of being awake so early.
2. Give up any notion that you will actually be able to wear the cashmere jumper you got for Christmas. Its perfect as my blanket and I dont intend to relinquish it anytime soon.
3. I will happily gurgle, coo and scream affectionately, on condition that, I am fed lashings of carbohydrates at lunchtime, and am allowed to have a post lunch siesta for at least an hour.
4. When feeding me, you will ensure a constant supply, none of this faffing about wiping off food from my chin lark, or checking the temperature. You will also hide the bib, spoon and actual spoon until the last possible moment as I can get too excited. You will also make at least double the amount you thought would be enough. Just accept the fact that you will never be able to make enough to have leftovers!
5. You will not thwart my efforts to stand up. No use worrying that I am only 6 months old. I am ready, bring it on.
6. I will have my dinner at 5pm, and reluctantly do some excersise between then and bathtime.
7. You will ensure I am in bed by 7pm, as a girl needs her 13.5 hours sleep.
8. Ensure my brother is in close proximity should you not manage any of the above, as retribution is swift and his hair is just long enough for me to pull it.
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